Existing Within Poetry: A Love Letter from Billy Hani to Transgender Folx
In this series, we will spotlight our favourite contemporary poets and their poems from Africa, Asia, and the Diaspora. In a variety of written and visual manifestations we open the floor of discussion. Our vision for this space is to remind those of us on the periphery that really, one of the biggest scams in writing history is the idea that we do not belong to or in poetry. By living in poetry by poets from Africa, Asia and the Diaspora, we bring to life realities that are often too difficult for us to envision alone and that is truly where the excitement lies.
For our first post, editors Thokozani Mbwana and Brittany Nguyen spoke to the Kenyan poet, Billy Hani. Below they discuss Hani’s featured poem,“What is Transgender in Dholuo?” as informed by their conversation.
What is Transgender in Dholuo?
by Billy Hani
A stranger on the internet told me, that
My identity cannot be real because,
There is no word for it in my mother tongue.
Bewildered, Angry, I
Frantically called my mother to ask:
Mama, what is ‘transgender’ in Dholuo?
“Nyathina,” she said,
“If you cannot find a word in our tongue,
For your identity, then
Describe yourself-
In photos. In writing. In being.
Let them know that the absence of language
Is not the absence of your existence.
Remind them that erasing those like you,
And the ones who came before you,
Did not erase generations of your kind.”
She then proceeded to list our kin:
“You are from anyuola of great people in our tribe, nyathina
I am your mother, nyaluo, daughter of Ogana Sibuor
Who was son of Ajok Kakan, a renowned farmer at Got K’Osimbo
Son of Owuor Aleko, a great musician…”
She went on and on, and
With every name she mentioned of my kin, I
Felt grounded. Seen. Present,
Belonging.
One with my ancestors.
An nyathi Luo, and I am transgender.
It is with deep gratitude that we thank Billy for letting us experience a poem that is of profound significance to them, “What is Transgender in Dholuo?” Though it has taken time to meet the world, it has arrived at just the right moment with all the grace and glory it offers to us and the trans knowledge bank. It is easy to fall in love with the work Billy writes when they speak so passionately about their activism. This is even more evident when seeing activism reflected so beautifully in their poetry. Billy’s chosen poem explores a particular moment in their life and activism- a moment that has become a collective phenomenon for many trans folx in Africa.
“A stranger on the internet told me, that
My identity cannot be real because,
There is no word for it in my mother tongue.”
Billy begins their poem, reflecting the sentiments held by many on the African continent. Unfortunately, the historical narrative surrounding being queer and/ transgender in Africa is that of it being unnatural, ‘un-African’ and in opposition to culture and tradition. However, if we dig even a little deeper, we uncover the rich and precious history hidden beneath the dirt of colonial conquests in knowledge production.
Pre colonial history clearly illustrates the sacredness and divinity of trans and queer folx in many African traditional communities. Folx were often gifted with special names and offered special roles in society to signify their importance and value. Examples of this can be seen among the Kikuyu and Meru in pre-colonial Kenya where religious leaders, who were considered men, would dress in “women’s” clothing and also sometimes married men. In Uganda, people who were born intersex were recognised as third gender and given the name “Mudoko Dako.”
Yet, here we are in present day, claiming the absence of a word in our mother tongues requires the erasure of trans existence. Billy captures this violent moment with the softness that can be heard in their voice. A quiet reassurance of their solid resolve echoes when they are told to speak themself into existence- “In photos. In writing. In being.” Through lived experience, they find mediums to acknowledge their existence.
We had the most wondrous experience while speaking directly with Billy about their intentions within the poem and what they hope the poem could incite for the future. Billy’s hope was born in their imaginings of an exchange between them and their mother. As it did for them, maybe it is a moment that will give other trans folx hope. As the conversation develops through the poem, there is a subtle hum of yearning, a wish. It is for trans folx who experience ostracisation from their families and communities to know that a moment like this sits on the horizon of their futures. It is as if one can touch the intention and care in the moment. A moment which creates a stark contrast to the violence experienced in the first stanza.
Billy weaves stunning tapestries in their poetry; threads of Ancestral knowledge and lived experience come together. These tapestries hold a rich truth that we will certainly find hanging in the halls of trans activist history in futures to come. Looking at the conjuring of Ancestral connections in the poem, Billy reminds us that to be spoken into existence is to also remember where we came from—the Ancestors before us who led us to become who we are today.
For Billy, kinship plays an important role in trans experiences, expressing that home is found within the trans community, and picturing what that might look like in the form of activism. Billy states themself that their activism began in the form of poetry, as resistance. It began in the digital sphere and then after some time into a physical mode, a more mainstream activism. A lot of their work is centered around acceptance of sexuality, gender identity and expression, and sex.
Excitingly, their work has materialized in the form of National Guidelines for Transgender People in key populations in Kenya—where they had the opportunity to work with the Ministry of Health to develop this important work. Billy is driven by the fact that more people in Kenya, and on the continent, need to know and understand that being trans is not a “white condition” but as much an African experience as it is global.
The future of change in LGBTIQ rights draws closer in Kenya. One of the most exciting shifts was in 2019 when Kenya became the first African nation to include intersex folx in their census. Change is brewing and it is marvelous! Billy expresses the beauty of art activism and the traction it has gained in the country over the years. Trans folx are able to find their home in many spaces- art, fashion, drag and ballroom, writing and poetry. To see themselves in other trans folx expressing their existence in so many ways is a joy that is unmatched.
At this present time, Billy runs a page titled “Beautifully Handsome” on Facebook and @iambeautifullyhandsome on Instagram. The vision for Billy is to create a database and directory of trans organisations in Kenya that can guide and assist trans folx seeking support. This could be anything from access to medical assistance to finding out how to legally change their names.
A note from Billy: “I wrote this poem in response to comments I received over time regarding being transgender in Kenya. I run a digital transgender educational platform and I would consistently get comments about how being trans is “un-African” and “Western,” guised in questions such as “what is the word transgender in your mother tongue?” 'how will you explain being transgender to villagers in a language they understand?' In this poem I imagine a utopian conversation with my mother, reminding me that the absence of language does not mean the absence of my identity. The poem acknowledges that I can describe myself in other ways. The poem also serves as a reminder to transgender people in Kenya and Africa about their kinship and that they belong here because they come from here.”
*A huge thank you to Billy for sitting down with us, sharing their work and trusting us with it.*
_ We stand with our LGBTIQ Ghanaian siblings during this painful and violent time in Ghana. We are not free until we are all free.
With Love,
Thokozani & Brittany
Folx in Kenya can find some resources below:
1. Jinsiangu
2. Transgender Education and Advocacy (TEA)
3: East Africa Trans Health and Advocacy Network (EATHAN)
Billy Hani is a queer artist and activist in Kenya. They use writing and photography to explore African queerness, sexuality, gender identity and expression, bodies and death. They run an online platform that educates the public on transgender issues and provides visibility for transgender people in Kenya
Thokozani Mbwana is a queer African Studies scholar by day and an Ancestor-summoning poet and writer by night. They have written a number of essays for both online and print zines such as Shades of Noir UK and the African Gender Institute, South Africa and self-publish their work at writtenbyflora.com. Their work explores issues of race, sexuality, displacement and Ancestral connections. When they are not writing, reading or attempting to finish their thesis, you can find them baking, hula-hooping, swinging on silks or eating copious amounts of pizza.
Brittany Nguyen is a poet and translator from Walnut, California. She translates from the Korean and the Vietnamese but sometimes ventures into the Chinese and the Japanese, often incorporating them into her own work. She is the 2018 recipient of the Academy of American Poets: The Piri Thomas Poetry Prize and has a piece in the upcoming issue of the Notre Dame Review! She currently lives in New York City working on her MFA at Columbia University.